every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
