scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
