Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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