do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
