It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
