If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
