I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
