He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
