wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
