It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
