Your tits are I can't wait for
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
