it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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