Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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