Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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