If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
