"it" just moved
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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