he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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