I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
