All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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