for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
third nipple confirmed
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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