what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
nutella sex= disaster
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
