On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
