Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
