how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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