Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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