I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
