Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
