Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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