So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
