That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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