a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
