hotel room ftw
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
