Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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