I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the condom got lost in my hair
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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