Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
