This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
