i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So much rum. So many feels.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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