i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
So squirting runs in the family.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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