He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We left an ass print on the piano.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
