Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
