When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
