ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
