i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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