My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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