How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
