New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
