Well douche your snatch and let's go!
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
