Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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