someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
