Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
